One month. That's (approximately) the time until I board a flight to Slovenia with 10 other recent graduates (my hubs included) to move to Slovenia for the upcoming year. Here we will be working with Cru to build a campus ministry on the university in Ljubljana (the capital). People often ask how I feel about leaving, so here it is in summation.
Yes. I will miss… my family and friends. the convenience of hopping in a car to run to the store instead of waiting for public transportation. English being the native language. US electrical outlets. PF Changs. my kitchen supplies and other "comfort" items. being home for the holidays. chocolate chips.
But I'd give up those things forever if it meant... a whole country of people being exposed to Jesus for the very first time. meeting students who are hopeless, at the end of their rope, bringing them the hope of a Savior. sharing my story with someone going through similar things. being obedient to God rather than disobedient. putting the Lord's will above my own. changing, growing, not staying the same.
And it does. So I will go. Happily. Joyfully. And yes, even though it's hard. Because God doesn't call us to an easy, mediocre, "American dream" life. He calls us to a radical, unfathomable, world-changing journey.
Because He not only wants to use to reach the world, but He wants to wreck our idea of happy in the best way possible, showing off His far superior plan, reminding us that our citizenship is in Heaven, and we don't belong here forever.
You won't find a verse in the Bible that tells you to cling to what you love and hold tightly to it. In fact, you'll find the exact opposite.
"Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it again." [Matthew 16:24-25]
Two years ago, I decided to stop attempting to "put all my ducks in a row". I was done planning. Done trying to have control. Done with my 10-year plan. And I have never looked back a day since. Because while the life I had planned for myself wasn't bad, God gave me way greater.
I'd far prefer to be where I am now, then where I thought I wanted to be right now.
I say this now with confidence, but don't get me wrong, it's still a struggle and sacrifice for me. There's moments of anxiety with the uncertainty ahead. But…
it's worth it. He's worth it. He always will be. And you will never, ever regret choosing His way over yours.