For Better or For Worse

VDay-Pancake.jpg

Ya know, I'm usually quick to jump on the social media PDA train for holidays such as Valentine's Day. To post a cute pic of the hubs and me, write what I love about him and why he's just plain awesome. And I guess this will ultimately end up being that, but in an untraditional way.

To be truthful, the night before VDay my husband and I got in a fight over the silliest thing. (Isn't that how it usually goes?) Being late at night, it just seemed to escalate without any real resolution. After we finished talking, he left the living room and I just sat on the couch for what felt like an hour going over our fight and my feelings. We didn't go to bed angry, but we definitely weren't all lovey-dovey either.

Now here's where the story turns. I was awakened Friday morning to the sweet voice of my husband coming in carrying homemade breakfast to serve me in bed. He'd gotten up long before me to prepare the most thoughtful breakfast, including heart-shaped pancakes. (This guy!)

At that moment my heart was so humbled and grateful. If that's not a tangible representation of Christ's undeserving love to us, I don't know what is.

You see, I'd done absolutely nothing worthy of my husband's thoughtfulness and love that day. And that hurts my perfectionist tendencies to admit. Without every detail of our fight being resolved, and certainly in no response to how I was acting towards him, Jordan laid down his feelings from our fight and served me selflessly. He didn't do this out of manipulation to make me feel bad about the night before, but to show me that regardless of what happens, he will always choose to love and forgive me.

I say this not to inflate your view of my husband, although he is, in my unbiased opinion, the absolute best. I share this with you to elevate your view of Jesus, without whom this story wouldn't even be possible. What motivation did Jordan have to serve me? None but Christ's love for him.

Lately I've been stunned at just how yuck I can be. The sin in my life while now forgiven, is nonetheless present. Too often I'm tempted to think of myself as better than I am, and negate the beauty and significance of what our precious Lord and Savior did by dying on the cross and raising to life again.

I'm just as in need of that saving grace today as I was the day I first received it.

Thank you, Jordan, for reminding me of the beauty of our Savior and serving me out of love for the Lord, rather than any merit of my own. And for not just turning on your romantic charm come a holiday about love, but for year-round living out your love for me.

While none of us will ever reach perfection this side of eternity, I'm thankful for a man who humbles himself before God and walks through life with me as we sharpen one another. Married folks: don't let your fights (and ultimately the devil) have the last word about your marriage. I'm sure there will be days I'm so frustrated with Jordan that I'll wonder how I wrote this post. And it will be in that moment that (I pray) I remember these wonderful truths again. Because I am in this. For better or for worse.

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Niki

Twenty-something follower of Jesus, wife to my best friend, aspiring kitchenista, and lover of handwritten type, all things coffee, traveling and baked goods. Currently in the United States until my husband and I move back to Ljubljana, Slovenia, where we are missionaries with Cru.